Update
So yeah, that “me-time” never happened. It’s been a REALLLLLLY long year. But! Lil’ Miss C has just started preschool – part-time only, but it does allow me 3 days a week to (hopefully) spend my newfound freedom on some “me-time”. So far, I’ve lost a whole 2 pounds!!! Whoopdy-doo!
On a different note, there is a whole lot to update on here. I’m sorry I’ve been completely MIA for over a year. If you remember, we blended our family back in the summer of 2018 and the ex-wife didn’t take it too kindly. You can read about her reaction to being told that the house she and James had bought together was sold here: https://shakenstirredandblended.com/2018/07/29/one-house-down-two-more-to-go/
Well, that phone call from her attorney came about 9 months later in the form of court documents, which – funnily – were actually served to ME. This post can be read here: https://shakenstirredandblended.com/2019/04/02/getting-served/
Which I then took down immediately, as advised by the attorney we then were forced to employ for the following FOUR years! Don’t get me wrong, we think our attorney is a great person, but we did have to spend a little too much time (and money) with this amazing person LOL. But seriously, guys! FOUR years, almost to the date! After I got served with his papers in March 2019, they finally settled in February 2023. But not without going through 4 different judges and countless therapists/mediation specialists. Or, as I like to call them, “post-divorce marriage counselors”.
Had the whole show not been so dang expensive, it would actually make a great, entertaining story. In fact, it was quite comical at times that James’ ex wouldn’t ever agree to anything James and/or the therapist would suggest. For example, she wanted more money because the kids needed aftercare since we changed school districts with our move. The reason they didn’t have aftercare at their previous school was that they would take the bus back to James’ house and then would get picked up from there later. So James suggested, “Hey, no problem. I won’t pay you, but the kids can come back to our house after school on your days and you can come pick them up whenever it’s convenient for you. No charge.” Therapist: “Well, that’s a fantastic idea! And we know it worked in the past.” Ex: “Absolutely not, because then you’ll have them more hours than me and I’ll have to see HER (meaning me) when I pick up.”
Yes, I know what you’re thinking here… she’s still in love with him and therefore hurt because I live with him now. But I don’t think that’s the case. I think she’s mad because she no longer has him, but mostly for any services that he used to provide when they were still married… like watching the kids when she is out, cleaning up when she doesn’t feel like it, etc. From past stories I’ve been told, there’s a decent chance she’s never truly loved him, but that’s merely speculation on my part. And it doesn’t matter. What she did get out of this 4-year-theater performance is to have had someone new constantly that would listen to her sob stories about how terrible James and I are. Including the GAL whom we finally employed in the fall of 2019. He seemed to be on the verge of handing her full legal custody, which her counter-counter-counter-counter (I may have lost count somewhere) motion to modify requested. Luckily, our amazing attorney pressed for depositions, where we could reveal to both her attorney and the GAL that she was playing them boys. That she flat-out lied. Even under oath. Guys, it was B E A U T I F U L!
The GAL then suggested he’d mediate and James agreed to her keeping the dog (which is sorely missed by the baby who absolutely adored him!) and a few other items she requested. Nothing that could make or break us. And when the kids are both 18, the plan is for us to move away with the baby anyway. She has since moved in with a guy and seems to be more content, so we’re keeping our fingers crossed that this relationship will last until both kids are 18; otherwise, we will need to invest in a regular chocolates and flowers delivery service for all the attorneys and therapists we will need for another 4-6 years LOL.
Ashley@Shakenstirredandblended
Hi, I'm Ashley and I am a freelance writer and editor for one local and one national publication. In my spare time, I teach foreign languages and manage two households. Oh, and raise four children. It's a crazy life that I chose and I love every second of it :o)
